Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...
Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my backside.
Hmm...I don't know what your problem is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...
You're a doughnut short of being a cop.