Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...
Hmm...I don't know what your problem is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...
You're a doughnut short of being a cop.