Three guys, a wheelchair bound man, a
guy in a neck brace and a chav with a broken arm, are sat in a bar when
Jesus walks in and sits down. They say to each other "Isn't that Jesus?" and
they all agree that it is him. So the wheelchair guy buys Jesus a drink and
comes back to the table. The neck brace guy also buys him a drink, so does
the Chav. So Jesus finishes his drinks, and goes up to the table. He comes
up to the wheelchair guy and says "For your kindness, you are healed." Sure
enough, the wheelchair guy gets out of his chair and walks out. He goes to
the neck brace guy and says "For YOUR kindness, you are healed." And the
neck Brace guy takes it off and strolls out. So he goes up to the chav, and
he's about to heal him, when the chav says: "Don't you fookin touch me, I'm on disability!"
goes in to a big department store and goes up to the man who sorts new jobs
and asks "hi I am looking for job got any how" and the job man says "yes I
have just the job for you" .The chav looks at him happy and asks what it is.
The man describes the job as a really great job with a lot of pay and really
cool perks like as much food as he can eat and as much white lightning as he
can drink and all he has to do is follow this really hot lass around. The
chav looks at him and says "are you having a laff how?" and the job man says
"well you started it."
A bus full of chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching
Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the
town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they
stood at the counter, one chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order,
could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we
are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."